Sicker than your Average

Literally... I'm "sicker than your average". I have been dealing with late affects of chemotherapy and will continue to the rest of my life. One of the things that chemo has effected me the most is my heart, and with my anxiety that is not a good combination. Lately I've been feeling really stressed with school, my living situation, and just wanting to go home for the holidays. I got sick yesterday morning and the past two weeks I've been feeling a tightness in my chest. I try to do things to distract myself from the stress, but that doesn't make it go away. I'm someone who likes to fix problems or get things I want accomplished for myself right away, but that isn't always possible. It's tough to be sick in college because you feel truly alone. Everyone is too far away to help you and you have to just stay strong. Although sometimes I'm literally sick and tired of being strong!

The thing I was most stressed about with school was signing up for classes and the whole DSPS disappointment thing I talked about in a separate blog here. I'd say out of everything, signing up for classes is the most stressful thing about college. This is my second semester coming up and I'm still not guaranteed I will get my general math class! I'm on the waiting list so *fingers crossed*.

Yesterday I went to the nurse's office here at school. It's located in the Student Services building right next to DSPS. I showed up ready to be helped, but they were going to close in twenty minutes so I set an appointment for this morning. I learned you can go here for free because you pay it in your Medical Health in your college bill. The appointment went well, however I didn't find out anything I didn't already know. The nurse told me that I need to go to Urgent Care, that I was brave, and she wanted to give me a hug...You know, the typically stuff, for me at least! She made me an appointment to talk with the counselor later today to hopefully give me some advice on reducing my stress and then I left. Apparently you can have up to 6 counseling sessions for free each semester.
Of course on the bus ride home I had to stand up when I wasn't feeling well. BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER a gentleman offered me to sit in his seat. I don't know if I looked like I was struggling, if he saw the tattoo on the back of my neck, or what but I took that offer. I said "sure" but what I really meant was "THANK YOU OMG YOU SAVED MY LIFE". Not really...but close :P Moral of the story is even if you do something little for someone, it can go a long way.