Sea of Surprises

I'm driving down the hill from Cliff Drive to the SBCC parking lot and I see this massive boat again! This is probably the third time I've seen this big of a boat parked outside our La Playa Stadium. When you drive down that hill the boat looks gigantic but once you are at the parking lot it still looks like it, but farther away. This picture doesn't do it justice, but I didn't want to take a picture while I was driving.

Rumors I've heard from my Ocean Swimming class say that it's a Russian yacht. That just sounds ridiculous! Who would have a yacht this big? Are the Russians trying to tell us something? Who knows... but this strange. I don't know whether to be creeped out that they are always outside our school or flattered that they enjoy the view our every day view. Let's just hope it doesn't come any closer to shore considering I have class today. No one wants a runned-over Angela...right?

This morning as I waited on the beach for class to begin I asked my classmate about it. He said this was a different ship than we saw before, that the other one was a Russian yacht and this one is a cruise ship.

Today in class the water wasn't as clear as it was last time. Although, it was clear enough to see that I was swimming through hundreds of little fishies. Classmates a buoy away from me saw three dolphins 30 feet away from them! They pointed them out to me and I only saw their fins. I screamed in happiness and my classmate said. "I love how girls get so excited they scream when they see a dolphin." Later on as I was swimming back to shore I swore I heard the screech of a dolphin. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. All I know was swimming in the not so clear ocean today with all the surroundings made me a little paranoid. #lovingthethrill
     PS: I swam back into shore today without a lifeguard after my longest swim yet, pshh I don't need no man!

Cloud Nine

                  

  I have a love hate relationship with fog. It can be so beautiful yet dangerous. It was the reason I got in my first car accident and crashed my car when I lived on the east coast. It's also a reason I feel like I'm on a cloud nine in beautiful Santa Barbara.

If you haven't noticed, California's beaches and the valley are separated by the mountains. One side you look and it's clear skies and hot, sunny weather. On the other side is cooler weather and clouds. That's one reason I love California, I love the variety here whether it's the weather, food, people, or places to visit. It's just amazing how it can be sunny and foggy at the same time. Also how you feel as if the clouds are down by you and you're driving through it like an airplane would. I feel like I could just jump on one of these clouds and drift away. I can't though, and that's okay. I'm content with where I am :)

Laugh a Little

You wouldn't think with my background I'd be known to laugh or smile a lot, but I sure do. Sometimes I have even been told that I laugh at everything but hey, that's better than nothing! Unlike some cancers, sadness has a cure. So for any of you that are sad, I'm about to cure you all! So will SBCC...it's a fun, beautiful place to be :) 

                                            

This is a frightening, incurable                                            JSB Cafe everyone.

disease called PUG OBSESSION.                                  

Both my roommate and I will never 
be cured and it's not a sad thing...to 
us at least! I brought my stuffed-pug
 because I VERY SADLY couldn't 
bring my real one.   

                                     

         

This would actually make me                                            Selfie with Seagull

want to use my sun shade. How

freakin' cool is this! It's like a 

childhood fantasy came to life!

                                                                    

        

       

                               

       Turning not-so-fun shopping                                  AWWWWWWWWWWW.

       for wetsuits into Bay Watch                                    Sea Lion just chillin on a buoy. I'd

       ....what?                                                                     do that if I had to swim all the time!

Little Mermaid

Ocean Swimming is a lot tougher of a class than you think. The fact that you get to have class across La Playa Stadium at the beach makes it beyond worth it. I took swimming classes and was on teams (in a pool) for eight years before my diagnosis. I came into Ocean Swimming thinking I would know everything about swimming but that it'd be just a tad tougher. Nope! See that's the thing about me...I always overestimate the amount of physical strength I have had since after treatment. It's great because I'm getting my strength back, but can be a bad thing at the same time. The teacher for this class really cares about your safety! Girls, if you ever get too tired just know you got a cute lifeguard or two that will take you back to shore ;) What? Just sayin... 

The first class I arrived at the beach not knowing where to meet. Like...do I meet at this particle of sand or that one or that one or that one or that one??? First to arrive after my 8 am class, then people started showing up and I started feeling so excited. The next two weeks we trained in the pool. I still got it ;) The pool was freezing enough, never mind the Pacific Ocean. 

Day 1 in the ocean: I arrive in my red one piece. Me, not Pamela Anderson! Haha. I swam one buoy because I was short of breath from anxiety. The assistant teacher told me I should take a different swimming class that would be easier. Me quit? Ha! I did need to get a wetsuit for sure though.

Day 2: This Little Mermaid swam 1,000 meters. All the way down the SBCC coast fishies!!! I felt unstoppable in my wetsuit.

Day 3: Timed Test. This was the worst day. Before I got in I got knocked down by a wave. Then soon to realize we had to swim against the current. Choppy water smacked in my face every time I turned my face for a breath. My partner gave up, but I still had the assistant teacher and lifeguard with me. I thought I was finished but there was one more buoy to go. Right then and there, in the middle of the ocean, I had my first panic attack. Barely able to lift my arms out of the water, I fight to the end where the next buoy was. JK!! That wasn't the end. I was told if I didn't swim out to shore myself I would get put as "Did Not Finish". Second panic attack. The assistant teacher keeps telling me I'm tough, and this was nothing compared to chemotherapy. My past of having the attitude of surviving carries with me. The lifeguard asks if I want him to take me in. My assistant teacher answers for me saying, "No, she's got it, she's tough. Common Angela let's go!" Strong, but not smart I push for it. Where I'm able to stand I cannot. My assistant teacher and the lifeguard lift me up out of the water and take me to the lifeguard's truck where he drives me back to the start. Chaffed with a burning sensation on my neck, I sat in remembrance of my pain in my neck from my lymphoma. I wasn't as proud as I thought I would be. I realized I need to treat my fragile body with more care and respect. When I got home, you can imagine I passed out in a hard core nap. 

Day 4: In the morning today, I debated whether or not I should go to class or give my body a little more rest. I decided to go, but declare myself done the moment I felt any sort of weak. Boy, am I glad I went today. Before class my favorite thing to do is annoy the seagulls. They annoy us so I annoy them! I get way too much enjoyment out of it. The water was smoother than ever. Usually you could never see the bottom of the ocean without goggles or with because it wasn't clear. First dive I take and I see the bottom of the ocean floor. Sand rests with the sun's rays glistening in rays coming back up toward my face. Sea weed standing tall and  grows from the bottom of the floor. WOAH! I've never seen under the ocean with my own eyes before! I didn't know whether to be scared or amazed. Swimming seeing below actually turned out to be easier because you focus on the view below you instead of how tired you are. I remembered to cross my feet together so I didn't kick. In Ocean Swimming you don't kick because that gives off 43% of your oxygen. Going farther around buoys and back I see bones on the ocean floor, and fish to my left. I indulge myself under the water and realize how quite and away from the world I felt. It felt so good, and I left class feeling good. Then I went home and ate some fish! So weird...

Angela Rose Bickmann: Conquers cancer and the ocean. I'm surviving and living and I couldn't be happier about it :)

Remember,

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, what do we do? We swim! Swim! Swim! Swim!"

Cancer patients should sing

"Just keep surviving, just keep surviving, what do we do? We live! Live! Live! Live!" 

Anxiety

It's something I've dealt with my whole life. It's something impossible to get rid of. Through medications, therapy, and education I have found nothing but a reason. I guess that's what we want out of life right? We want to know the reasons why. 'What's your reason?' you might ask. Well, to start off I have separation anxiety. It's caused by the sudden loss of a parent when you're just a baby. I lost my mother and brother at year old. Not to mention all the other stress of life testing my strength. That's the reason. However, I'm trying to move past that reason for that reason. You see, I inspire myself through my past for my future. I want to live life to the fullest as you could tell in my last blog.

Many things at this age of ours can bring up anxiety. Some of those things involve moving on your own, living paycheck to paycheck,and working your butt off so you can go to school to find a job to work your butt off even more. But hey, it's all worth it if you make sure you study the subjects you need to achieve and attain the job you love. I love writing, I want to write a book and become a screen writer. This helps my anxiety. Find what you love to do, it's all apart of the college experience. I found what I wanted to do at a young age because I had to grow up quickly and I have had many experiences (which is a good thing for a writer to have ;) . Don't stress if you don't know what you want to do, because when you find it...that stress will go away. EXPERIENCE, EDUCATE yourself, and achieve EXCELLENCE! You will be ETERNALLY happy :)

Let's Start Living

Welcome to my first blog! I'm very excited to start my writing career and share it with you :)


Coming back to my home of California has been my dream for 10 years; it has finally come true! SBCC is a great, if not the best school for me to return to in this state. Everyday I come here in the morning to a beautiful sunrise glistening over the palm trees and the smell of the salty air. I'll admit though, I am exhausted! There is so much to do here, and the first year of college is a lot to take in. If you turn your head away from the window of the ocean view, you will realize oh crap, I'm in class! Freshman fifteen? Forget that! You've got a big honkin hill to climb up to get to class! But the view...the view is oh so worth it. There is a consequence of this beautiful place that attracts many people. PARKING. Let me just tell you, I arrived to school AN HOUR early and looked for over an hour for parking....nothing. Missed class. Yep. Drive to school by 9 AM or take the bus! I switch off days that I drive or take the bus depending on how early my classes are.

I'm sure if you are about to subscribe to my blogs you'd like to know what classes I take. For one, I'm here to do my General Studies before I start working on my major. My classes consist of English, Animal Behavior, Psychology, and Oooocceaaann Swwiimmmingg. That's right, I said it, you read it right. I have a class that meets at the beach. Keep up with my blogs and I'll tell you about it ;) *Personal achievement* First class in the ocean I swam to one buoy, next class I swam down the coast. I'm surviving and striving! Not only do I take classes, but I signed up for clubs- including a free trip to Israel and dancing! Hey, I'll do a happy dance for that free trip!

Tropicana Gardens. Sounds like some sort of orange juice right? Nope, that's where I live. It's a residency hall for college students, better than a dorm- but less stressful than having an apartment. All your bills get paid within one which takes a little stress of the shoulders. Being able to live like a student at a university would but at a community college is all I could ask for in these beginning two years. I still get the college experience without the cost of a university. Not to mention you live right by DP (Del Playa- the street of parties). I have my fun on the weekends don't get me wrong, but on the weekdays I focus on my schoolwork. And when others are blaring their music while I'm trying to study it gets annoying! But there is a study lounge. When people walk past my window being loud, I just join in their conversation from my room and they're like "huh? who? where?". Hahaha. It's fun! My roommates get a laugh too :) Camille and Laney live in the other room, but my pug lover Chandler shares a room with me :D



I've done a lot of things in the past month I've been living here. I've gone on a LandShark which is a bus/boat that drives on the road and the ocean. We saw a sea lion just chillin on a buoy. I went to a comedy show on state street. State Street is where you can get all that urge out to shop girls! If you follow the street down you see the beach, a pier with restaurants, oh and SBCC to the side! While I've been here I've also been working on my autobiography so you can read even more about me YAAAAYYYY.




Worst part of college? I miss my dog. ISN'T HE AN ANGEL?! If you like pugs we will get a long very well. I've had him since kindergarten. He is about to turn thirteen. He's an old fart, but I love him. Kind of obsessed actually!

Best part of college? Starting to live my life! For years I have battled through tough times of moving, studying pointless subjects in school, battling cancer, three car accidents in the past year, etc. I hated the fact that I couldn't really start living my life the way I wanted to until I was on my own. And now I am! I'm able to take little steps  to achieve my dreams every single day and for once I can say I'm happy. Not only am I happy to be here. I'm happy I went through hell and back to be here.
 

"You'll get stuck" they said. "You might think your life is boring" they said. Well I'm here to tell my job and you I'm truckin and my life is an adventure every day. I will and do appreciate the time you take out of your day to read my blogs, you're helping my dreams come true. Thank you :) <3