The Reality of a Journalist

My desk! It gets REAL messy as
soon as I sit down at it. (click to enlarge) 

This semester I'm both an editor and reporter for The Channels. I laugh at last semester when I thought being a reporter alone was stressful. People don't understand how intense working in this field of journalism is. I wouldn't be surprised if that's one of the reasons why journalism enrollment seems to be dropping at colleges across the nation, especially with amount of pressure on today's media. Heck, I didn't understand going into it!
The reality of journalism has struck me as clear as lightening illuminating the sky at night. The comments journalists receive are like strikes of lightening. Sometimes the strike is damaging; sometimes the strike is beautiful. But if you don't look at the strike, it's silent.
That is how I feel every single time I read the comments on articles that aren't so pretty. As an editor, I have the ability to see every comment that comes in from every article listed out right in front of me. Sometimes I don't get to debate seeing or hearing comments. No one likes to have their name in an article that makes them look bad. No one likes to read an article that isn't in favor with their opinion or their lives. So what do they do? They take it out on the reporter by degrading their work, their job, or who they are as a person.

Clearly we stress eat

This puts an enormous amount of pressure on reporters and editors to make sure everything written and published is accurate. Even if several sources were interviewed, even if every fact is checked for accuracy, even if every word's definition and every sentence's grammatical structure is fixed, there is nothing that can prepare a journalist for the brutal comments trolls leave on their articles.
When I say brutal, boy do I mean it. A professional, investigative journalist once told me the same day I talked to him that someone told him to kill himself by shooting himself in the head. He advised future journalists not to read comments.
However, it can be really difficult not to. I received my first degrading comment last week on an opinion column. Believe it or not, people will tell you that your emotions aren't valid and will try to correct your opinions as if they are facts even when you clearly state the difference of columns vs. news articles. Friday, I received a comment on a factual, breaking news article I wrote that told me I was wrong about something I already knew but didn't even write about. How productive.
The sad part is, most journalists take on the jobs they do because they are passionate about helping inform the public about perspectives on the world they maybe wouldn't know or consider otherwise. Yet, a portion of the public hates on journalists for trying to help because they confuse us with clickbait gossipers and don't take into consideration what a world would be like without us. Let me tell you, there would be a mass eruption of corruption. Journalists are the punching bags society takes out their anger on.
After getting upset at my first cruel comment, my teacher welcomed me to "the world of good journalists."

She went on to say that journalists who aren't afraid to talk about things are doing their job's right. The best journalists can receive the worst comments because their articles with new information offend know-it-alls.
I've become OCD in making sure every word I write is correct. I read articles over and over again before publishing them in order to reassure myself I've done my very best to not make a mistake because if I do, I will be heavily criticized for it.
Now that I'm an editor on top of being a reporter, I do this with multiple articles as well as my own. The pressure became heavier after becoming an editor and hearing Trump's "fake news" accusations and dealing with its consequences.
I'm glad that I've took on this experience of becoming an editor because it's giving me a full perspective on everything that comes with being a journalist. I'm learning a lot and am becoming more passionate about my career path because of it. However, I'm realizing that in the future I'd like to stick to receiving the pressure of my own stories because that within itself is more than enough.
Reporters get to go out there, talk to people, experience the world, and write about it. Editors are in charge of juggling multiple reporters and each of their stories, making sure they do their jobs right. Editors come up with, edit, frame, and publish stories, as well as write headlines, create budgets, and resolve any issues that come up along the way. Mix editing and reporting and you get pressure from every end of the newspaper aside from taking pictures.
The beginning of last week was extremely tough on me. The pressure became overwhelmingly real and catching up on everything after being sick for the second time in a month didn't exactly help. Wednesday in particular felt like everything went wrong even when I did my best to prevent it. Thursday I was at school for 14 hours straight (8 a.m to 10 p.m.). I had two classes, responsibilities to take care of from both my editor and blogger job, and I had to cover a meeting and report it by midnight.
The story I reported on was difficult to write because I didn't know the truth and I had no time to investigate it. One side of sources were telling me one thing, while the other side of sources were telling me another. So I did what I had to do—I wrote a story on the two sides of sources conflicting with one another. This is a situation where if I didn't talk to both sides, I could've risked writing about the the wrong source's side, which would've left me in the end being blamed for spreading false information.

Board of Trustees meeting

Just when I thought I was done after turning in my story, I realized couldn't be. I needed to write a second one. Santa Barbara's local T.V. news station, KEYT, published a story on a separate topic from the meeting I covered that I almost missed because I was too focused on writing another topic. I didn't fall asleep until almost 3:00 in the morning because I was up worrying, knowing it needed to be published ASAP or I'd seem like a poor reporter. I set my alarm to wake up early, headed to the newsroom, and wrote the second story before I had to start editing other people's stories that same morning.
Turns out that important, second breaking news story I wrote was published before Santa Barbara's two local newspapers even knew anything about it.
Instantly, I felt accomplished. All the stress and worries meant nothing because in the end I pushed passed it all. I did my job. My second story from the same meeting was published before 2 out of the 3 professional, local news organizations and I don't even have my journalism degree yet! After those two stories and other stories were published and sent out in a mass email to the school, City College's president replied in support of us journalists being anything but "the enemy of the American people" that the president of our country makes us out to be.
This was the moment I found out I have what it takes. I may not have the thickest of skin, but it will thicken with time because I have determination that can't be stopped.

Catch up on my work with The Channels:

Board of Trustees in favor of California Guided Pathways 

SBCC passes resolution to support success for all students 

 Future journalist defends media against ‘fake news’ accusations (goes into more detail than this blog)

Board of Trustees accused of breaking California Ed Code 

White supremacy posters near SBCC cause concern

Birthright Trip to Israel

Remember when I said I had a list of things I need to do over break? One of those things was to FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY put together an iMovie video of my trip to Israel! You guys....I probably spent eight hours putting this video together. Honestly there are hundreds of pictures I could've included in this iMovie as well, but it would've taken forever to do and this video is already about half an hour long! No matter if I included all my pictures/videos or not, this iMovie could never be enough to show how many more experiences actually happened unless I recorded the entire trip. 

Birthright is basically an entitlement to a free trip for Jewish people to visit their homeland of Israel between the ages of 18-26 years old. It is something I looked forward to ever since I heard about it several years ago. I'm the only one in my immediate family alive who is of Jewish decent, so this trip was an opportunity for me to experience that side of me. If you think you may be eligible and are interested in going on this trip, go visit Santa Barbara Hillel, a Jewish temple right in the middle of Isla Vista. They're the ones who helped organize these trips with Taglit. Currently registration is open and you can apply to go as soon as this summer! If you're not of Jewish decent, don't worry! There are plenty of other group trips you can go on.

This was my very first trip out of the country! It was a 14-16 hour flight depending on which direction we were flying. There were an incredible amount of experiences and I wish I could share them with you all. Instead, I will share with you my five favorite experiences.

Sunrise in the Desert

One night, my entire birthright group of about 40 people slept under one big tent in the middle of the desert with a bunch of other birthright groups from around the nation. You can imagine how it might've been difficult to sleep. I woke up at 4 a.m while everyone was still asleep with the realization that this may possibly be my one time to spend some time in Israel to myself. I had never woken up early to specifically watch the sunrise and that's what I did (next to the camels). I have never felt so at one with the world.

                                                                          The Western Wall

One of the last things we did in Israel was visit the Western Wall in Jerusalem. This was one of the things I looked forward to most because I had recently figured out for myself what it is I believe in spiritually. I don't practice any religion in particular and that used to bother me. As I've gotten older I've become wiser in realizing that that is okay because I'm content enough with simply being a good person and loving everybody. I shouldn't go into too much detail (as this is a school blog), but I felt I made a higher connection, found peace, and took my hand off that wall walking away with guidance.

International Best Friend

When Ronnie first walked onto our bus along with the other Israeli soldiers, I didn't know we were about to be best friends. Within a couple days, I realized that we would always be. It was amazing to connect with someone from a different country so well. Turns out, we were very similar despite the extremely different parts of the world we live in.

Dead Sea

There is no other place like the dead sea. It is at the lowest point on Earth. I call its beach the "desert beach." The sand leading up to it is a dark, burnt orange color. As I walked into the water, I noticed how warm it was, along with the sand. It was so hot in fact, I had to bring my flip flops into the water. A few feet in, I noticed the entire bottom layer where sand would usually be is all salt. It had a slight pink color to it. We were told not to shave for at least a few days before the Dead Sea because it BURNS. I had a tiny cut on my ankle and boy, it did not feel like a tiny cut while in that water. However, I didn't notice it too much once I began to float without any effort. It was one of those moments where I realized that there is no other place in the world like this and I'm here.

Bat Mitzvah

I finally had a Bat Mitzvah and it was right in the middle of Jerusalem!!! How special is that??? I went from feeling a little sad that I never had one, to feeling like this was the absolute perfect time for it to happen. One of the things I learned from Hillel and going on this trip is that being Jewish comes from your family ancestry and it is not just a religion, but a culture as well. One of the things we had to acknowledge is why we wanted to take the opportunity now to have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. I explained that it was something I always wanted to do to feel closer to my mom and her side of the family. Growing up without her, I wasn't able to experience this part of me from her side of the family and there was no better time and place than to have it during my birthright trip in the heart of Israel! It was short, sweet, and with a group of other people who finally had the chance to have one too.

SBIFF: Ryan Gosling & Emma Stone

Not only were the director of La La Land Damien Chazelle, and actors Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone awarded last night, so was I.

Yesterday morning, I received an email back from my supervisor at TVSB saying I could join the crew at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival to interview Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone. Despite my already busy day at The Channels, I knew I had to take this rewarding opportunity!

I also knew going into it, joining an aggressive crowd of press wasn't my thing. I'm not the type of person who gets star-struck. I think celebrities are just normal people who are talented with highly, publicly displayed jobs. If I ever get giddy seeing or meeting a well-known person, it's when they've inspired me personally or have done something extreme to positively impact the world (for example: Bernie Sanders and Robin Meade).

My main goal as a journalist is to be the voice of the people for the people by spreading awareness that attributes to making this world a better place. Within a couple weeks, I'll be releasing a personal column with The Channels that will go into further detail about my view on the media as a journalism student today.

I know some of you are dying to know so I'll just say it now. Yes, Ryan Gosling was even more beautiful in person and so was Emma Stone.

Unfortunately since I was informed about being able to go to the event last minute, I wasn't as prepared as I could've been. My crew consisted of three people total including myself. One person recorded video, one person reported, and I took pictures. While I would've loved to broadcast, I didn't feel like I was ready yet. I've only taken writing classes and I'm only beginning to experience what broadcasting is like by interning at TVSB. Also, the other two people on my crew signed up first, so they deserved first pick. Only two people were supposed to go in the first place, but I guess me going was meant to be!

My other two crew members and I separated at the red carpet. They were at the end of it filming while I stood on a platform smack-dab in the middle of it amongst all the craziness. It was terrifying, yet exhilarating at the same time. The best part about this entire experience was being surrounded by local news stations and professional anchors and reporters. It gave me an opportunity to make connections and experience the real world of media outside of school. I stood by Ken Boxer from Ken Boxer Live and a female anchor from KEYT. I wanted to introduce myself to her, but didn't get the chance to talk to her by the time she was done talking with someone else. On the bright side, I met an anchor from KSBY who ended up giving me her business card. An employee of my internship at TV Santa Barbara also gave me the contact information of a host from a show they produce there who is also a columnist for our local newspaper, the Independent.

By the end of the night, I had taken pictures and a few videos of Ryan, Emma, and Damien. My other two crew members weren't able to get a filmed interview with Ryan or Emma because they were rushed off the carpet to go inside for the event, but I was with them when they interviewed Damien, the writer and director.

Before I left, Ken Boxer apologized to me for being "rude." He kind of had to kick me out of the spot I was in, but it all ended up working out and I'm not at a professional point yet so it wasn't a big deal. He also told me he thought I was taller after I was off the platform. Something tells me I will be getting that a lot... (5'2" and proud)!

Falling Into Place

I just had one of those "I'm doing pretty good" moments. Even though I'm a week into a bad cold I caught, I couldn't help but realize this despite my busy schedule barely allowing me time to think. It's weird to say this, but I swear I'm happier the busier I am. I think it's because I feel like I've been waiting my whole life for these moments and I couldn't be more ready to experience it all. Sometimes in the midst of all the chaos one of the best things you can do for yourself is take a small moment out of your day to reflect.

The other day I texted my friend Danielle asking her to come watch the sunset with me. She replied, "Omg I want to so badly but I'm doing homework." Well.... I convinced her, and she ended up being glad that I did. You'd be surprised how many students don't make it to the beach as much as they'd like to. We get so caught up in everything we have to get done that sometimes we forget we're surrounded by paradise. The beach (if it's even there) looks different each day. This time most of the sand was gone, leaving little streams of water in between rocks where the sand usually is.  We ended up spotting a pod dolphins off the coast of Isla Vista swimming near shore. A UCSB student left his Del Playa house in a hurry to join them with his surfboard. Even though I wished I were him in that moment, it was a magical moment to witness! Those are the type of things people put on their bucket lists and dream about.

Speaking of dreams, ya girl is currently working/volunteering for several jobs that all have to do with a future career in journalism:



— Blogger
— Reporter/Writer/Editor
— TVSB Intern


This may not seem as big of a deal to you as it is to me, but I've come a long way to get to this point. Nearly my whole life I've felt like a victim to everything that was being thrown at me. Everything negative always seemed to drag me down with it one bad thing after the other. As a kid, I felt completely helpless that I couldn't have control over my life. One day, a family member told me that I could simply "choose to be happy." Then, I didn't understand, but now, I do. The day I turned 19 is the day I completely understood. Growing up, my favorite number was (and still is) 19 because I knew that it'd be the first, full year I'd be own my own. As my long-time readers know, I was broken up with on my 19th birthday. I couldn't do it myself because at the time, getting hurt was all I knew and having control was foreign. Being as open and honest as I can be, that was one of the best birthday presents I could've received because I realized that I can have control over my life. I can and should discard the things that make me sad and I can and should embrace the things that make me happy. Ever since that day, I've been an independent woman healing my wounds, searching and sticking up for myself, making memories and gaining knowledge, and most importantly taking care of myself. For those of you that are struggling, know that if there is any crucial time to do any of this, it is now. Not only are we born into a new life when we begin college, we are born again every day.



I want to end this blog post by saying that for the first time in my life, everything seems to be falling into place. I choose to chase happiness with a full on sprint and jump life's hurdles instead of letting them trip me. I've been yearning for this feeling forever and it's only the beginning! Lately I've noticed even though things have been going well, I still worry that pending things won't. And hey, sometimes things won't go as planned and that's what makes life exciting. As someone battling anxiety, that is something I still have to work on. I'm sure as I continue on this path, every positive instance will collect and assure me that everything will turn out okay....just like I did :)


Click here to read my first story on The Channels as a campus government reporter!

I'm an Editor!

Hi everyone!  I hope you're all getting settled into your new classes! I on the other hand am anything but settled. Many exciting things are happening and I'm trying to find a way to handle them all at once. Hopefully I'll feel more adjusted soon. 

However, with hard work comes great reward. You are looking at the new Opinion Editor for The Channels! 

That is the exciting news I've been wanting to share with you all for so long! I wanted to make sure everything would work out and find out what section editor I'd become before I said anything. 

At first, I was hesitant to become an editor due to its huge responsibility and time commitment. I had to sit down and think about what was best for me. I knew it would get stressful, but I also knew it would look superb on a résumé. I've realized that in life, it's worse regretting the things you don't do rather than the things you do. Over winter break my teacher emailed me hoping that I was still considering joining the Ed Board. She explained that she'd love to see The Channels benefit from my talent. When she mentioned that, I immediately decided I should go for it! The Channels has given me so many opportunities and it'd be silly to let one this slip by. 

So...Why did I decided to become an opinion editor? At the moment, there are several different section editors: news, arts/entertainment, features, sports, and opinion. There is also a photo editor and the editor in chief (team leader). All of the editors are new this semester because everyone left. I ruled out being editor in chief because I knew that if I were to ever take on a position like that, I would want to put all my effort into it. Right now, my main priority is to get myself ready to graduate and transfer, while also juggling as many journalism opportunities as I can take on. When I looked at all of the other options, I had to decide what it was I wanted to get out of all this hard work. I knew how gratifying it felt when I wrote my first column. Also, I wanted to have fun with my section and help spread awareness about student lives and bigger picture things happening outside of school. That's when I knew I wanted to be an opinion editor.

Along with being an opinion editor, I'll still be writing and reporting for The Channels. I'll be covering the Board of Trustees under the campus government beat this semester! This means I will be covering the board meetings where they make decisions and determine general policies that govern the entire District and our city college. 

Compared to everything else I'm working on, this blog is what I've been working on the longest. Despite my busy schedule, I couldn't imagine giving this up before graduating. Keep patient with me and I promise you I will do my best to stay in touch! Right now I'm blogging for City College, writing and reporting for The Channels, editing for The Channels, and interning at TVSB. It's a lot of responsibilities, but I just turned 21 this past weekend so the "adulting" along with its fun has just begun. Thank you all for reading along my journey with me. What a beginning to my last semester here!

The Channels

The Channels Staff

The Channels Opinion 

The Channels: Angela Rose Bickmann

Inspiration Point

I'm going to be cheesy for a second here.... Inspiration Point inspired me about going back to school. For those of you that aren't locals, Inspiration Point is a 2.5 hour hike (18,000 feet) up into the mountains where you can overlook all of Santa Barbara. It's like I was overlooking the past 2.5 years of my life in this one glimpse of the town I basically began my life and found myself in. 

Tomorrow is the beginning of my last semester at Santa Barbara City College. Ugh, I'm legitimately tearing up thinking about this! I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for all of my incredible experiences in stunning Santa Barbara and I know I have to leave for the best, but it doesn't make me feel like I'll miss this place any less. I'm even thankful for the negatively incredible experiences I've had here because I've learned many lessons and because of them I'm becoming into the woman I've always aspired to be. Sometimes we all need a little push to steer us out of a negative path in our lives into a positive one.

I've refrained from telling you all this because it's very personal...but I want to share because I hope that any of you who have experienced a loss can have faith in such a powerful, miracle of healing that I experienced and know it can happen to you too. I had this "dream" a week ago that ended up being something I yearned for my entire life. It was about my mom. As I've mentioned before, she and my brother passed away (what will be this upcoming August) 20 years ago. She was in my room kneeling next to my bed I was laying in. I was not in control of this dream at all whatsoever. I totally respect whatever it is anyone believes in spiritually, but I know for a fact this was not just a dream, but her actually with me in my room. My mom apologized over and over and over again about not being able to physically be here here with me through all these experiences; the good and the bad. She knew everything that I've already accomplished, but didn't know anything I was planning. She mentioned seeing me on the ad with all the other bloggers saying whenever she saw it she was like, "That's my baby, that's my baby!" I told her about this being my last semester here, my major, and where I might transfer and I've never felt like someone was so proud of me in my entire life by the way she was hugging, jumping and dancing around the room with me. 

While I was asleep, I noticed her presence was starting to fade away and that I was about to wake up. I pleaded for her not to go, but she told me she had to and that I've proven to be strong enough to be okay and that we will be united after I finish all the great things she knows I have ahead of me. We said our "I love you's" and that was it. I woke up feeling like my soul was being placed back into my own body ever-so-gently, more whole than ever. I don't know why this positive "dream" where I finally felt like I met my mom for the first time waited this long to happen, but I'm forever changed in contentment from it. She has healed me through this experience I've craved ever since I could remember.  This lifetime of pain from her absence has finally ended as much as it possibly ever will on my own without her physically being here because I've realized she is alive in my heart and is with me through it all. 

Here's to endings, because without them we could never have new beginnings.

Here's to my last semester in Santa Barbara, because without this place I wouldn't be who I am now and who I will be in the future.

PS: I have some exciting news I will share with you all very soon and I'm turning 21 on Sunday. Life is happening and it's moving fast! Can't complain, the direction of it all is a dream becoming a reality. 

Exploring Our Options

During the past couple days, my friend Julia and I took a trip down to LA to scope out Long Beach and Northridge. We both work for The Channels and are majoring in journalism, so we are interested in transferring to some of the same schools and plan on sharing a place together if we end up choosing the same university!

Cal State Long Beach was an big, beautiful campus. It's  closer than San Diego and Fullerton for sure, but Northridge still seems to be the closest and most convenient. Even though the waiting game is still very much taking place, we have to submit supplemental applications to each university in order to prove our progress from last semester. I will be working on that these last couple of days before school starts back up. After checking out the Long Beach campus, Julia and I decided to wait to look around town until we officially know if we got accepted. The next day, we tried to find the trail to hike to the Hollywood sign. We ended up driving to Griffith Observatory due to the weather and the lack of time we had to hike 3-6 miles there and back. When we got to the destination on top of the mountain, we instantly realized we were up in the clouds and surrounded by fog. People specifically go to the Griffith Observatory to get the best views of LA. One of the things I was most excited about on this trip was to get a picture with the Hollywood sign for two reasons: (1) I never have and (2) it's so relevant right now! I would've instagrammed that with the caption "HollyWOOD #stopthememes" but we couldn't see the sign, yet alone the entire city of LA or anything several feet away.

Wow....The LA smog has gotten pretty bad hasn't it?

Just kidding, it's rain. WOW, it rains in LA??

After that major fail, we laughed it off and drove up to Northridge. We didn't look around the CSUN campus since we have both been there before, but since we are both highly considering Northridge, we took a look at some of the apartments around town. We saw a lot of places in the short couple hours we had! We did this just to get an idea of what we can afford compared to Santa Barbara and we also kind of did it for fun! We accidentally walked into what we thought was a leasing office, but was instead an office for purchasing a place. We also didn't realize that these were townhouses because they looked like apartments from the outside. The office lady said that all the ones in the back were open and we could go inside and look at all of them on our own. Without hesitation, Julia and I walked into these $500,000- $700,000 houses and just about had heartattacks around each corner we turned. There were probably cameras and we probably made a fool of ourselves with our giddy reactions. The houses were completely furnished with modern furniture, stainless steel appliances, walk-in closets, and they each even had an elevator! After we had our "dream on" moments, we avoided heading back through the office as we walked back to our car in embarrassment. Next we drove to a 7-Eleven where we had to stop and use the restroom.....boy
that was a wake up call! It's like we entered a whole other world. Oh well....It was fun while it lasted.