Decide it's Time

Wrote day-night. "Keep Calm and Write a Book"

I've never forgotten how much I've been through. As I start to work on my book and realize it even more I think, "Holy crap I deserve to be happy!" Years and years I've been drowned in negative events and thoughts. I needed to get them all out. That's what I decided to do yesterday. I grabbed my laptop and started walking through IV. Sushi sounded good at the moment, so that's what I decided to get. I walked into Starbucks which was filled with students working on homework. That's not the kind of environment I wanted to be in while writing my book. I decided to take everything to the beach. I sat in between DP and UCSB at the picnic tables and took pictures so I could remind myself how lucky I am right now. The colors in the sunset brought out the creativity in my mind. It was time to write.

I found this shell when I walked down to the beach.

This morning I woke up from another bad dream. A dream that only brought me back to the past. Obviously, everyone knows that Angela's past is not a good place to reminisce. I decided I needed to run away from these thoughts. As soon as I opened my door I saw my roommate Dorsa. She told me she was getting ready to go downstairs and have breakfast. I realized I either haven't had breakfast or haven't had a good one for the past week.  That's not fair to my body, my body has gone through enough destruction as is. I decided to go get a good breakfast in before my run. It consisted of water, eggs, and and an apple. Instead of being too lazy to find the pepper, I made myself find it. I found it and the eggs on my plate tasted so much better. After breakfast I grabbed my things and took off. When I had to stop at a light I realized some bug was on my shoulder. So I decided to just grab it and throw it off me. Not till after did I realize it was a BEE. I am terrified of bees. I wouldn't have thrown that be off my shoulder if I put too much thought into it. I walked to the gym and saw it was closed and that was okay because it gave me a better opportunity. I didn't know where I was running, but I decided to keep going anyway. I ran through UCSB and through this hiking trail along the shore. Then I walked down to the beach. I didn't want to because it was a steep hill up. But heck, I decided to anyway because that's what I wanted! I've never gone on morning runs, but here I don't mind. I have enough time before class starts, and it's a great way to start the day.

My point of this whole "I decided to" spiel, was to inform you that you have to decide to be happy and know that it's time. Sometimes it may take work, but it's always worth it in the end. Decide that you deserve what you believe you do. You know yourself better than anyone, so you can't be wrong.