I'm an Editor!

Hi everyone!  I hope you're all getting settled into your new classes! I on the other hand am anything but settled. Many exciting things are happening and I'm trying to find a way to handle them all at once. Hopefully I'll feel more adjusted soon. 

However, with hard work comes great reward. You are looking at the new Opinion Editor for The Channels! 

That is the exciting news I've been wanting to share with you all for so long! I wanted to make sure everything would work out and find out what section editor I'd become before I said anything. 

At first, I was hesitant to become an editor due to its huge responsibility and time commitment. I had to sit down and think about what was best for me. I knew it would get stressful, but I also knew it would look superb on a résumé. I've realized that in life, it's worse regretting the things you don't do rather than the things you do. Over winter break my teacher emailed me hoping that I was still considering joining the Ed Board. She explained that she'd love to see The Channels benefit from my talent. When she mentioned that, I immediately decided I should go for it! The Channels has given me so many opportunities and it'd be silly to let one this slip by. 

So...Why did I decided to become an opinion editor? At the moment, there are several different section editors: news, arts/entertainment, features, sports, and opinion. There is also a photo editor and the editor in chief (team leader). All of the editors are new this semester because everyone left. I ruled out being editor in chief because I knew that if I were to ever take on a position like that, I would want to put all my effort into it. Right now, my main priority is to get myself ready to graduate and transfer, while also juggling as many journalism opportunities as I can take on. When I looked at all of the other options, I had to decide what it was I wanted to get out of all this hard work. I knew how gratifying it felt when I wrote my first column. Also, I wanted to have fun with my section and help spread awareness about student lives and bigger picture things happening outside of school. That's when I knew I wanted to be an opinion editor.

Along with being an opinion editor, I'll still be writing and reporting for The Channels. I'll be covering the Board of Trustees under the campus government beat this semester! This means I will be covering the board meetings where they make decisions and determine general policies that govern the entire District and our city college. 

Compared to everything else I'm working on, this blog is what I've been working on the longest. Despite my busy schedule, I couldn't imagine giving this up before graduating. Keep patient with me and I promise you I will do my best to stay in touch! Right now I'm blogging for City College, writing and reporting for The Channels, editing for The Channels, and interning at TVSB. It's a lot of responsibilities, but I just turned 21 this past weekend so the "adulting" along with its fun has just begun. Thank you all for reading along my journey with me. What a beginning to my last semester here!

The Channels

The Channels Staff

The Channels Opinion 

The Channels: Angela Rose Bickmann

Inspiration Point

I'm going to be cheesy for a second here.... Inspiration Point inspired me about going back to school. For those of you that aren't locals, Inspiration Point is a 2.5 hour hike (18,000 feet) up into the mountains where you can overlook all of Santa Barbara. It's like I was overlooking the past 2.5 years of my life in this one glimpse of the town I basically began my life and found myself in. 

Tomorrow is the beginning of my last semester at Santa Barbara City College. Ugh, I'm legitimately tearing up thinking about this! I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for all of my incredible experiences in stunning Santa Barbara and I know I have to leave for the best, but it doesn't make me feel like I'll miss this place any less. I'm even thankful for the negatively incredible experiences I've had here because I've learned many lessons and because of them I'm becoming into the woman I've always aspired to be. Sometimes we all need a little push to steer us out of a negative path in our lives into a positive one.

I've refrained from telling you all this because it's very personal...but I want to share because I hope that any of you who have experienced a loss can have faith in such a powerful, miracle of healing that I experienced and know it can happen to you too. I had this "dream" a week ago that ended up being something I yearned for my entire life. It was about my mom. As I've mentioned before, she and my brother passed away (what will be this upcoming August) 20 years ago. She was in my room kneeling next to my bed I was laying in. I was not in control of this dream at all whatsoever. I totally respect whatever it is anyone believes in spiritually, but I know for a fact this was not just a dream, but her actually with me in my room. My mom apologized over and over and over again about not being able to physically be here here with me through all these experiences; the good and the bad. She knew everything that I've already accomplished, but didn't know anything I was planning. She mentioned seeing me on the ad with all the other bloggers saying whenever she saw it she was like, "That's my baby, that's my baby!" I told her about this being my last semester here, my major, and where I might transfer and I've never felt like someone was so proud of me in my entire life by the way she was hugging, jumping and dancing around the room with me. 

While I was asleep, I noticed her presence was starting to fade away and that I was about to wake up. I pleaded for her not to go, but she told me she had to and that I've proven to be strong enough to be okay and that we will be united after I finish all the great things she knows I have ahead of me. We said our "I love you's" and that was it. I woke up feeling like my soul was being placed back into my own body ever-so-gently, more whole than ever. I don't know why this positive "dream" where I finally felt like I met my mom for the first time waited this long to happen, but I'm forever changed in contentment from it. She has healed me through this experience I've craved ever since I could remember.  This lifetime of pain from her absence has finally ended as much as it possibly ever will on my own without her physically being here because I've realized she is alive in my heart and is with me through it all. 

Here's to endings, because without them we could never have new beginnings.

Here's to my last semester in Santa Barbara, because without this place I wouldn't be who I am now and who I will be in the future.

PS: I have some exciting news I will share with you all very soon and I'm turning 21 on Sunday. Life is happening and it's moving fast! Can't complain, the direction of it all is a dream becoming a reality. 

Exploring Our Options

During the past couple days, my friend Julia and I took a trip down to LA to scope out Long Beach and Northridge. We both work for The Channels and are majoring in journalism, so we are interested in transferring to some of the same schools and plan on sharing a place together if we end up choosing the same university!

Cal State Long Beach was an big, beautiful campus. It's  closer than San Diego and Fullerton for sure, but Northridge still seems to be the closest and most convenient. Even though the waiting game is still very much taking place, we have to submit supplemental applications to each university in order to prove our progress from last semester. I will be working on that these last couple of days before school starts back up. After checking out the Long Beach campus, Julia and I decided to wait to look around town until we officially know if we got accepted. The next day, we tried to find the trail to hike to the Hollywood sign. We ended up driving to Griffith Observatory due to the weather and the lack of time we had to hike 3-6 miles there and back. When we got to the destination on top of the mountain, we instantly realized we were up in the clouds and surrounded by fog. People specifically go to the Griffith Observatory to get the best views of LA. One of the things I was most excited about on this trip was to get a picture with the Hollywood sign for two reasons: (1) I never have and (2) it's so relevant right now! I would've instagrammed that with the caption "HollyWOOD #stopthememes" but we couldn't see the sign, yet alone the entire city of LA or anything several feet away.

Wow....The LA smog has gotten pretty bad hasn't it?

Just kidding, it's rain. WOW, it rains in LA??

After that major fail, we laughed it off and drove up to Northridge. We didn't look around the CSUN campus since we have both been there before, but since we are both highly considering Northridge, we took a look at some of the apartments around town. We saw a lot of places in the short couple hours we had! We did this just to get an idea of what we can afford compared to Santa Barbara and we also kind of did it for fun! We accidentally walked into what we thought was a leasing office, but was instead an office for purchasing a place. We also didn't realize that these were townhouses because they looked like apartments from the outside. The office lady said that all the ones in the back were open and we could go inside and look at all of them on our own. Without hesitation, Julia and I walked into these $500,000- $700,000 houses and just about had heartattacks around each corner we turned. There were probably cameras and we probably made a fool of ourselves with our giddy reactions. The houses were completely furnished with modern furniture, stainless steel appliances, walk-in closets, and they each even had an elevator! After we had our "dream on" moments, we avoided heading back through the office as we walked back to our car in embarrassment. Next we drove to a 7-Eleven where we had to stop and use the restroom.....boy
that was a wake up call! It's like we entered a whole other world. Oh well....It was fun while it lasted.

Holiday Trip Part 2

Besides the clouds, this picture
looks like I'm on a spaceship
looking down on Earth!

A miracle just happened right before I wrote this....IT STORMED IN SANTA BARBARA! I REPEAT IT ACTUALLY STORMED RIGHT HERE IN CALIFORNIA! (For 10 whole minutes) We don't get rain often and when we do it rarely ever comes along with thunder and lighting. At first I thought 'Someone's being really loud upstairs moving stuff'. Then I realized... 'Wait I live on the top floor' and BAM! To my right a flash of lightning lit up Isla Vista outside my window. If you couldn't tell, I love storms. If you still can't tell....let me tell you I have a battery powered snow globe and it's turned on right next to me.
Anyway! I meant to blog as soon as I got back to California, but exhaustion from traveling and jet lag  took over me.

Example A: I kept falling asleep at 7 PM and waking up at 7 AM. 

Example B: I poured water from my Brita into my cereal instead of milk.

Example C: I tried to dial a phone number in my calculator app. 

Wilmington, NC

Yeah, so, not much fun things to talk about since all I've been doing is trying to catch up on sleep and other things. Instead, here are some pictures from the second part of my trip in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Virginia!

Dec 26: We drove from Fredericksburg, VA to Wilmington, NC. There we coincidently watched our family's neighbor's plane take off from the runway in their backyard as we were getting a tour. We all had dinner together, played a game of Uno, and said our goodbyes in the morning.

How opposite having a regular
puppy vs. a German Shepard puppy is

Dec 27: Next we drove to Beaufort, SC. We were stuck on the highway for quite some time due to an accident. People got out of their cars to stretch and everything. Once we got to our family's house we had a nice dinner and chatted the rest of the night.

Beaufort, SC

Dec 28: We visited downtown Beaufort where we got eaten alive by bugs that left at least 15 bites on me (which I still find myself scratching today....my skin has stayed extra sensitive from the lymphoma). In downtown, we checked out all the little stores, walked along the water, and ate at a restaurant on the patio (of course I ordered my sweet tea).

The Bickmann Girls!   Greenville, SC

Dec 29: Then, we woke up and drove to Greenville, SC to visited my dad's brother and his family. My Aunt Hal cooked a lovely pineapple casserole. It was incredibly delicious! All three of my brothers and I opened presents from our Uncle that each weighed like two bricks. It was 28.8lbs of pennies ($50 worth). YEAH I was like 'Uhhh...thanks but this is going to definitely surpass my suitcase weight limit.' Hahahaha. He chuckled and threw us $50 of cash instead......in 1's. After gifts, we played pool for two hours. My cousin Blair and I stayed up late until around 3 AM talking since we already had to leave the next day.

Dec 30: We drove back up to Virginia. At this point I was one cranky traveler. After all the driving and flying, this is when I began to feel homesick from California. We got back to Fredericksburg around 9:30 PM.

Giving Guinni kisses

After taking care of my
brother after he kneed
himself in the eye on
the trampoline, as
his sister, I made sure
his eyes matched. 

Dec 31: I woke up unbearably early after so much traveling just to check up on one of my teeth that was feeling sensitive after the fillings I had. They dentist adjusted it and gave me a paste to use after I brush my teeth to rebuild my enamel that deteriorated from the chemo. It was expensive, but when I found out that it wouldn't only protect my teeth's health, but improve it, I knew it would be a good investment. An hour or so later my brothers and I were picked up to go to our house in Ashburn. For dinner we went out to one of those Japanese grills where they cook in front of you. Afterwards, my friend Bethany and I went to her friend's house to celebrate New Years.

Jan 1: I spent the rest of the day with my family. My dad drove up to say goodbye since his house is farther from the airport. The rest of the night I spent packing.

Jan 2: Even though I knew I was finally going home, it was still incredibly difficult to get out of bed I was so tired. I got dropped off at the Dulles Airport, flew to LAX, the Flyaway bus picked me up from LAX and took me to the Van Nuys station where my car was parked, and then I drove all the way up to Isla Vista. Glad none of ya'll had to see me that day. It was a long one. Oh, I just said ya'll.... Haha, that tends to happen after I visit the Carolina's!

"Future me" Favorite snap filter
(besides the pug obviously)

Keep on enjoying your break everyone! Spring semester is approaching and it will be here before you know it!

Happy New Year! It's never too late to start fresh again. If the new year didn't work out for ya, try the beginning of spring semester! The only reason I love having my birthday in January is so that if I mess up on my New Years resolution, I can make it my birthday/new age resolution! Besides, every day is a new day.

Holiday Trip Part 1

Today I start traveling once again to visit more family in North and South Carolina. After this trip, I will be back in Virginia just in time for New Year's Eve. The day after New Year's Day I will fly back to California in a different year than I left it. It's insane how fast time flies and the amount of things that can happen within that time.

The first full day after I got to Virginia I started my morning off with a dentist appointment, thinking I was simply going to get a teeth cleaning with X-ray and get my bottom permanent retainer removed. Hahaha, not in my world! I won't say how many cavities I had, but I will tell you it was a lot. Apparently they were all in between my teeth where I'm supposed to be flossing and they all formed within the past year or two. No offense to those who floss regularly, but WHO FLOSSES daily? The dentist also said the chemotherapy could've given me dry mouth and damaged my enamel. That's exactly why I stopped wearing my top retainer, so something like this wouldn't happen. I cannot tell you how shocked I was when the dentist told me. I've only had one cavity my entire life (of not flossing regularly) when I was nine and that baby tooth fell out soon after. $1600 down the drain. Thanks for helping dental insurance (not). But hey....at least my teeth didn't fall out.

The best part about my trip so far was digging through all my old stuff and watching videos from when I was a baby. Watching those videos was extremely significant to me because not only do I obviously have no memories from that time, but that's the only time I had my mom and brother. My dad and I reacted differently to them. It was hard for him to watch, whereas I was so intrigued by the videos. I felt like I was finally experiencing what it was like to be with them. When the videos ended, that's when I lost it. I wanted to watch more. It's almost like I could watch them forever.

I think my writing skills have improved hahaha
(click on pic to enlarge)

My wig sort of matches
my new hair!

In my boxes of stuff I found everything from my cancer treatment, all of my old corsages from high school dances, artwork from when I was a kid, etc.. Two of my favorite things I found was a book and a business card. The baby book was written for me by my mom. I found this before we had watched the videos, so for the first time I felt like she was speaking to me. It was magical. I also found a business card. Doesn't sound exciting right? Well it was. I've been looking for this card for six years! It was given to me by an author who visited other kids and I in the hospital. He spent as much time as he could with me in my hospital room because he was amazed by my story and saw something in me. He wanted me to be a part of his book and also wanted to help me publish my own. I was so crushed when I couldn't find it years ago. Ever since, I have been thinking about what a miracle it would be to find it. I will try contacting Trevor Romain over break. Hopefully all his contact information is the same. Hopefully he remembers me! We did take a picture together for him to keep, so I'm sure he might.

Still numb from the four numbing shots, I drove up to D.C. to visit my friend from cancer camp, Serena, in the Children's Hospital. We have both been in cancer remission roughly the same amount of time, but she is dealing with intense late effects right now. Her cancer was in her hip and the radiation and chemo damaged that specific area. Serena had to get a hip replacement in order to stop the pain and limping. The holiday traffic was about the worst I've ever seen in Virginia, but it was beyond worth it to visit this girl.

Christmas Eve morning I spent at my stepmom's house with my three brothers. We opened presents because afterwards I drove my brothers and I down to my dad's for Christmas. I cannot even begin to tell you how many pug gifts I received. I love pugs, I really do, and I may be a little bit obsessed, but ya'll take it to a whole other level! Maybe I'm just irritated because I want an actual pug (2.5 years Angela, 2.5 MORE YEARS).
Yesterday on Christmas, we all went to see Passengers. I enjoy watching movies about space because if it were safe, possible, and didn't take several years I would be thrilled to go! I didn't know this until I watched the movie, but Jennifer Lawrence played a journalist in space. How perfect is that?!


What's most important about the holidays is spending time with your family and friends, no matter what it is you do. It is a time to celebrate our lives and reflect on everything we are thankful for. No family is normal and as long as you realize that, it'll make enjoying your time with them even more enjoyable. To those who are alone during the holidays, I have much sympathy for you. Maybe FaceTime them or treat yourself to your own little holiday party!

Safe travels everyone and Happy Holidays no matter what you're celebrating!

Also, have you all notice everyone is playing that "Speak Out" game? Yep....we were one of those families that played it.  Down below is a video of me....well....trying to speak out.

PS: I apologize if there are any grammar mistakes in this blog post. You know how I feel about those! I wanted to make sure I was able to post for you guys before the second half of my trip. Gotta go, we're rushing out the door, bye!!!

The "Write" Major

When you're told to bring an ugly christmas sweater
but you bring a sweater with a pug on it so it
could never possibly be ugly.

The holidays suddenly become a bit more merry when you find out your final grades turned out better than you thought.

A+   JOUR 121:   The Channels Reporting & Writing
A-    COMM 171: Mass Media & Society
B      PHIL 101:   Introduction to Ethics
P      PD 191A:   Career Planning  

Skills.

I was definitely worried that I would get a C in Ethics and a B in Communications, but somehow all the studying paid off and I did extremely well on both finals...better than I did all year on all my other exams! You'd think you'd do better on regular exams rather than cumulative finals, but hey apparently it's possible!

We put on face masks to relax. Instead, the face masks
decided to burn our faces :)

As for The Channels class, I received a 99.55% which is probably the best I've ever done in a class. The schools I applied to transfer to will also pay the most attention to this class grade due to its relation to my journalism major. It is clear I chose the "write" major as I keep receiving A's in all of the required classes (JOUR 121 & COMM 171)  ;)  It's a phenomenal, rewarding feeling finding out I do well at what I love.

After working on the four personal/research essays for Career Planning, I feel more advanced and knowledgable about the few different career options I've looked into and am starting to pursue. It was a Pass/No Pass class and I highly recommend you take it if you're struggling with figuring out what careers within your major you're interested in.

Lizard's Mouth Trail

Today I am flying into Virginia for the holidays. These pictures show what my break has been like so far. I've attended my friend's Christmas party and went to Magic Mountain, visited my family in here in California, went Christmas shopping, baked cookies and relaxed with my Channels friend, sent a transcript to CSUN, had a high school friend visit and showed them around Santa Barbara, and filmed another show for TVSB. Winter break is already flying by! To those of you thinking it doesn't get cold in California, it has been getting down to the 30's at night and my heater is broken. Hopefully it can get fixed when I come back from my trip; it has been freezing in my apartment! A lot of places in Isla Vista (including my apartment's office) are currently closed. And with that, I close off my 2016 here in California. I will be back the second day into the 2017 year. I'll probably do one last updated post before the year ends while I'm in Virginia.

Happy Holidays!!!

Give Me a Break

Aaahhh 'tis finally winter break. Here on this blog post are pictures from the short couple of days we had off for Thanksgiving (including a video of me playing part of a song I wrote on the piano when I had one). I took a trip to Illinois and Iowa because I was dying to see my friends and family. It had been almost a year since I saw my brothers. They traveled from Virginia to Iowa and I obviously came from California. We met in the middle!

You know...I got asked a lot over that little break, "Where do you see yourself after college?" I told everyone that asked me "I don't know, I'm just going to see where life and my career takes me." That's all I can do. It's scary. I think about the extreme cost of living in California, but I also think about the opportunities this place has. I think about all of the other family I have in other places and its cheaper costs, but I also think about the dreams I've had for over half of my entire life and wonder if they'd even be possible in other places in this moment.

They are so tall! The youngest is still
one inch shorter than me though. HA!

The last night I was in Iowa, I was with a bunch of family including my brothers. My friend came to pick me up so we could drive at midnight to the airport in Chicago for my flight at six in the morning. As soon as I got into the car with her I broke down. My heart was warm despite the coldness outside. My eyes were overwhelmed with tears. I told my friend to just drive because sitting outside the house longer with everyone I knew in it made it more difficult. It was one of those moments where I knew I could easily go back inside, but saying goodbye twice is harder than saying goodbye once.

I had never left the Midwest that upset before. It could be because of several of things. When I got back to my apartment in Isla Vista and I was alone, I then realized the main reason. The most difficult part about my situation is the fact that my family and friends live all over this country. It's hard to feel whole when you're family is so separated. I have family in California, Arizona, Illinois, Iowa, Washington, North and South Carolina, New York, Wisconsin....etc. Yet here I was, in my apartment completely alone after a visit that reminded me I wasn't. I'm living in a college town with strangers who are starting to become friends. Soon I will be moving out of this college town into another one starting all over again. It's exciting to be young, in college, and having so much ahead of me. At the same time, I've been moving around this country my whole life and have always yearned to settle down. Even though this is true, that doesn't mean I should disregard my own dreams any less, nor be afraid to move another time for the better of my life. Because now, I am in control.  Yes, it sucks that I can't be surrounded by all my family and friends no matter where I end up. However, no matter where I end up I can make the most of the family and friends I do have in that place.

Here I sit by myself in my one-bedroom college apartment getting stuff accomplished before I head out to Virginia in a week to visit family and friends once again. Before I booked my flight, I thought about everyone else in other places that I want to see. I'm already driving with my family from VA to NC and SC. There comes a time when you think about everyone else so much that you need to give yourself a break. I had to make myself buy this ticket to Virginia and Virginia alone because I need to focus on myself a bit (also kind of broke). I'm never going to get the things I need and want to get done accomplished if I don't . So, I am giving myself a break to get sshhtuff done. Makes sense. Typical me.