Birthright Trip to Israel

Remember when I said I had a list of things I need to do over break? One of those things was to FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY put together an iMovie video of my trip to Israel! You guys....I probably spent eight hours putting this video together. Honestly there are hundreds of pictures I could've included in this iMovie as well, but it would've taken forever to do and this video is already about half an hour long! No matter if I included all my pictures/videos or not, this iMovie could never be enough to show how many more experiences actually happened unless I recorded the entire trip. 

Birthright is basically an entitlement to a free trip for Jewish people to visit their homeland of Israel between the ages of 18-26 years old. It is something I looked forward to ever since I heard about it several years ago. I'm the only one in my immediate family alive who is of Jewish decent, so this trip was an opportunity for me to experience that side of me. If you think you may be eligible and are interested in going on this trip, go visit Santa Barbara Hillel, a Jewish temple right in the middle of Isla Vista. They're the ones who helped organize these trips with Taglit. Currently registration is open and you can apply to go as soon as this summer! If you're not of Jewish decent, don't worry! There are plenty of other group trips you can go on.

This was my very first trip out of the country! It was a 14-16 hour flight depending on which direction we were flying. There were an incredible amount of experiences and I wish I could share them with you all. Instead, I will share with you my five favorite experiences.

Sunrise in the Desert

One night, my entire birthright group of about 40 people slept under one big tent in the middle of the desert with a bunch of other birthright groups from around the nation. You can imagine how it might've been difficult to sleep. I woke up at 4 a.m while everyone was still asleep with the realization that this may possibly be my one time to spend some time in Israel to myself. I had never woken up early to specifically watch the sunrise and that's what I did (next to the camels). I have never felt so at one with the world.

                                                                          The Western Wall

One of the last things we did in Israel was visit the Western Wall in Jerusalem. This was one of the things I looked forward to most because I had recently figured out for myself what it is I believe in spiritually. I don't practice any religion in particular and that used to bother me. As I've gotten older I've become wiser in realizing that that is okay because I'm content enough with simply being a good person and loving everybody. I shouldn't go into too much detail (as this is a school blog), but I felt I made a higher connection, found peace, and took my hand off that wall walking away with guidance.

International Best Friend

When Ronnie first walked onto our bus along with the other Israeli soldiers, I didn't know we were about to be best friends. Within a couple days, I realized that we would always be. It was amazing to connect with someone from a different country so well. Turns out, we were very similar despite the extremely different parts of the world we live in.

Dead Sea

There is no other place like the dead sea. It is at the lowest point on Earth. I call its beach the "desert beach." The sand leading up to it is a dark, burnt orange color. As I walked into the water, I noticed how warm it was, along with the sand. It was so hot in fact, I had to bring my flip flops into the water. A few feet in, I noticed the entire bottom layer where sand would usually be is all salt. It had a slight pink color to it. We were told not to shave for at least a few days before the Dead Sea because it BURNS. I had a tiny cut on my ankle and boy, it did not feel like a tiny cut while in that water. However, I didn't notice it too much once I began to float without any effort. It was one of those moments where I realized that there is no other place in the world like this and I'm here.

Bat Mitzvah

I finally had a Bat Mitzvah and it was right in the middle of Jerusalem!!! How special is that??? I went from feeling a little sad that I never had one, to feeling like this was the absolute perfect time for it to happen. One of the things I learned from Hillel and going on this trip is that being Jewish comes from your family ancestry and it is not just a religion, but a culture as well. One of the things we had to acknowledge is why we wanted to take the opportunity now to have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. I explained that it was something I always wanted to do to feel closer to my mom and her side of the family. Growing up without her, I wasn't able to experience this part of me from her side of the family and there was no better time and place than to have it during my birthright trip in the heart of Israel! It was short, sweet, and with a group of other people who finally had the chance to have one too.

SBIFF: Ryan Gosling & Emma Stone

Not only were the director of La La Land Damien Chazelle, and actors Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone awarded last night, so was I.

Yesterday morning, I received an email back from my supervisor at TVSB saying I could join the crew at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival to interview Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone. Despite my already busy day at The Channels, I knew I had to take this rewarding opportunity!

I also knew going into it, joining an aggressive crowd of press wasn't my thing. I'm not the type of person who gets star-struck. I think celebrities are just normal people who are talented with highly, publicly displayed jobs. If I ever get giddy seeing or meeting a well-known person, it's when they've inspired me personally or have done something extreme to positively impact the world (for example: Bernie Sanders and Robin Meade).

My main goal as a journalist is to be the voice of the people for the people by spreading awareness that attributes to making this world a better place. Within a couple weeks, I'll be releasing a personal column with The Channels that will go into further detail about my view on the media as a journalism student today.

I know some of you are dying to know so I'll just say it now. Yes, Ryan Gosling was even more beautiful in person and so was Emma Stone.

Unfortunately since I was informed about being able to go to the event last minute, I wasn't as prepared as I could've been. My crew consisted of three people total including myself. One person recorded video, one person reported, and I took pictures. While I would've loved to broadcast, I didn't feel like I was ready yet. I've only taken writing classes and I'm only beginning to experience what broadcasting is like by interning at TVSB. Also, the other two people on my crew signed up first, so they deserved first pick. Only two people were supposed to go in the first place, but I guess me going was meant to be!

My other two crew members and I separated at the red carpet. They were at the end of it filming while I stood on a platform smack-dab in the middle of it amongst all the craziness. It was terrifying, yet exhilarating at the same time. The best part about this entire experience was being surrounded by local news stations and professional anchors and reporters. It gave me an opportunity to make connections and experience the real world of media outside of school. I stood by Ken Boxer from Ken Boxer Live and a female anchor from KEYT. I wanted to introduce myself to her, but didn't get the chance to talk to her by the time she was done talking with someone else. On the bright side, I met an anchor from KSBY who ended up giving me her business card. An employee of my internship at TV Santa Barbara also gave me the contact information of a host from a show they produce there who is also a columnist for our local newspaper, the Independent.

By the end of the night, I had taken pictures and a few videos of Ryan, Emma, and Damien. My other two crew members weren't able to get a filmed interview with Ryan or Emma because they were rushed off the carpet to go inside for the event, but I was with them when they interviewed Damien, the writer and director.

Before I left, Ken Boxer apologized to me for being "rude." He kind of had to kick me out of the spot I was in, but it all ended up working out and I'm not at a professional point yet so it wasn't a big deal. He also told me he thought I was taller after I was off the platform. Something tells me I will be getting that a lot... (5'2" and proud)!

Falling Into Place

I just had one of those "I'm doing pretty good" moments. Even though I'm a week into a bad cold I caught, I couldn't help but realize this despite my busy schedule barely allowing me time to think. It's weird to say this, but I swear I'm happier the busier I am. I think it's because I feel like I've been waiting my whole life for these moments and I couldn't be more ready to experience it all. Sometimes in the midst of all the chaos one of the best things you can do for yourself is take a small moment out of your day to reflect.

The other day I texted my friend Danielle asking her to come watch the sunset with me. She replied, "Omg I want to so badly but I'm doing homework." Well.... I convinced her, and she ended up being glad that I did. You'd be surprised how many students don't make it to the beach as much as they'd like to. We get so caught up in everything we have to get done that sometimes we forget we're surrounded by paradise. The beach (if it's even there) looks different each day. This time most of the sand was gone, leaving little streams of water in between rocks where the sand usually is.  We ended up spotting a pod dolphins off the coast of Isla Vista swimming near shore. A UCSB student left his Del Playa house in a hurry to join them with his surfboard. Even though I wished I were him in that moment, it was a magical moment to witness! Those are the type of things people put on their bucket lists and dream about.

Speaking of dreams, ya girl is currently working/volunteering for several jobs that all have to do with a future career in journalism:



— Blogger
— Reporter/Writer/Editor
— TVSB Intern


This may not seem as big of a deal to you as it is to me, but I've come a long way to get to this point. Nearly my whole life I've felt like a victim to everything that was being thrown at me. Everything negative always seemed to drag me down with it one bad thing after the other. As a kid, I felt completely helpless that I couldn't have control over my life. One day, a family member told me that I could simply "choose to be happy." Then, I didn't understand, but now, I do. The day I turned 19 is the day I completely understood. Growing up, my favorite number was (and still is) 19 because I knew that it'd be the first, full year I'd be own my own. As my long-time readers know, I was broken up with on my 19th birthday. I couldn't do it myself because at the time, getting hurt was all I knew and having control was foreign. Being as open and honest as I can be, that was one of the best birthday presents I could've received because I realized that I can have control over my life. I can and should discard the things that make me sad and I can and should embrace the things that make me happy. Ever since that day, I've been an independent woman healing my wounds, searching and sticking up for myself, making memories and gaining knowledge, and most importantly taking care of myself. For those of you that are struggling, know that if there is any crucial time to do any of this, it is now. Not only are we born into a new life when we begin college, we are born again every day.



I want to end this blog post by saying that for the first time in my life, everything seems to be falling into place. I choose to chase happiness with a full on sprint and jump life's hurdles instead of letting them trip me. I've been yearning for this feeling forever and it's only the beginning! Lately I've noticed even though things have been going well, I still worry that pending things won't. And hey, sometimes things won't go as planned and that's what makes life exciting. As someone battling anxiety, that is something I still have to work on. I'm sure as I continue on this path, every positive instance will collect and assure me that everything will turn out okay....just like I did :)


Click here to read my first story on The Channels as a campus government reporter!

I'm an Editor!

Hi everyone!  I hope you're all getting settled into your new classes! I on the other hand am anything but settled. Many exciting things are happening and I'm trying to find a way to handle them all at once. Hopefully I'll feel more adjusted soon. 

However, with hard work comes great reward. You are looking at the new Opinion Editor for The Channels! 

That is the exciting news I've been wanting to share with you all for so long! I wanted to make sure everything would work out and find out what section editor I'd become before I said anything. 

At first, I was hesitant to become an editor due to its huge responsibility and time commitment. I had to sit down and think about what was best for me. I knew it would get stressful, but I also knew it would look superb on a résumé. I've realized that in life, it's worse regretting the things you don't do rather than the things you do. Over winter break my teacher emailed me hoping that I was still considering joining the Ed Board. She explained that she'd love to see The Channels benefit from my talent. When she mentioned that, I immediately decided I should go for it! The Channels has given me so many opportunities and it'd be silly to let one this slip by. 

So...Why did I decided to become an opinion editor? At the moment, there are several different section editors: news, arts/entertainment, features, sports, and opinion. There is also a photo editor and the editor in chief (team leader). All of the editors are new this semester because everyone left. I ruled out being editor in chief because I knew that if I were to ever take on a position like that, I would want to put all my effort into it. Right now, my main priority is to get myself ready to graduate and transfer, while also juggling as many journalism opportunities as I can take on. When I looked at all of the other options, I had to decide what it was I wanted to get out of all this hard work. I knew how gratifying it felt when I wrote my first column. Also, I wanted to have fun with my section and help spread awareness about student lives and bigger picture things happening outside of school. That's when I knew I wanted to be an opinion editor.

Along with being an opinion editor, I'll still be writing and reporting for The Channels. I'll be covering the Board of Trustees under the campus government beat this semester! This means I will be covering the board meetings where they make decisions and determine general policies that govern the entire District and our city college. 

Compared to everything else I'm working on, this blog is what I've been working on the longest. Despite my busy schedule, I couldn't imagine giving this up before graduating. Keep patient with me and I promise you I will do my best to stay in touch! Right now I'm blogging for City College, writing and reporting for The Channels, editing for The Channels, and interning at TVSB. It's a lot of responsibilities, but I just turned 21 this past weekend so the "adulting" along with its fun has just begun. Thank you all for reading along my journey with me. What a beginning to my last semester here!

The Channels

The Channels Staff

The Channels Opinion 

The Channels: Angela Rose Bickmann

Inspiration Point

I'm going to be cheesy for a second here.... Inspiration Point inspired me about going back to school. For those of you that aren't locals, Inspiration Point is a 2.5 hour hike (18,000 feet) up into the mountains where you can overlook all of Santa Barbara. It's like I was overlooking the past 2.5 years of my life in this one glimpse of the town I basically began my life and found myself in. 

Tomorrow is the beginning of my last semester at Santa Barbara City College. Ugh, I'm legitimately tearing up thinking about this! I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for all of my incredible experiences in stunning Santa Barbara and I know I have to leave for the best, but it doesn't make me feel like I'll miss this place any less. I'm even thankful for the negatively incredible experiences I've had here because I've learned many lessons and because of them I'm becoming into the woman I've always aspired to be. Sometimes we all need a little push to steer us out of a negative path in our lives into a positive one.

I've refrained from telling you all this because it's very personal...but I want to share because I hope that any of you who have experienced a loss can have faith in such a powerful, miracle of healing that I experienced and know it can happen to you too. I had this "dream" a week ago that ended up being something I yearned for my entire life. It was about my mom. As I've mentioned before, she and my brother passed away (what will be this upcoming August) 20 years ago. She was in my room kneeling next to my bed I was laying in. I was not in control of this dream at all whatsoever. I totally respect whatever it is anyone believes in spiritually, but I know for a fact this was not just a dream, but her actually with me in my room. My mom apologized over and over and over again about not being able to physically be here here with me through all these experiences; the good and the bad. She knew everything that I've already accomplished, but didn't know anything I was planning. She mentioned seeing me on the ad with all the other bloggers saying whenever she saw it she was like, "That's my baby, that's my baby!" I told her about this being my last semester here, my major, and where I might transfer and I've never felt like someone was so proud of me in my entire life by the way she was hugging, jumping and dancing around the room with me. 

While I was asleep, I noticed her presence was starting to fade away and that I was about to wake up. I pleaded for her not to go, but she told me she had to and that I've proven to be strong enough to be okay and that we will be united after I finish all the great things she knows I have ahead of me. We said our "I love you's" and that was it. I woke up feeling like my soul was being placed back into my own body ever-so-gently, more whole than ever. I don't know why this positive "dream" where I finally felt like I met my mom for the first time waited this long to happen, but I'm forever changed in contentment from it. She has healed me through this experience I've craved ever since I could remember.  This lifetime of pain from her absence has finally ended as much as it possibly ever will on my own without her physically being here because I've realized she is alive in my heart and is with me through it all. 

Here's to endings, because without them we could never have new beginnings.

Here's to my last semester in Santa Barbara, because without this place I wouldn't be who I am now and who I will be in the future.

PS: I have some exciting news I will share with you all very soon and I'm turning 21 on Sunday. Life is happening and it's moving fast! Can't complain, the direction of it all is a dream becoming a reality. 

Exploring Our Options

During the past couple days, my friend Julia and I took a trip down to LA to scope out Long Beach and Northridge. We both work for The Channels and are majoring in journalism, so we are interested in transferring to some of the same schools and plan on sharing a place together if we end up choosing the same university!

Cal State Long Beach was an big, beautiful campus. It's  closer than San Diego and Fullerton for sure, but Northridge still seems to be the closest and most convenient. Even though the waiting game is still very much taking place, we have to submit supplemental applications to each university in order to prove our progress from last semester. I will be working on that these last couple of days before school starts back up. After checking out the Long Beach campus, Julia and I decided to wait to look around town until we officially know if we got accepted. The next day, we tried to find the trail to hike to the Hollywood sign. We ended up driving to Griffith Observatory due to the weather and the lack of time we had to hike 3-6 miles there and back. When we got to the destination on top of the mountain, we instantly realized we were up in the clouds and surrounded by fog. People specifically go to the Griffith Observatory to get the best views of LA. One of the things I was most excited about on this trip was to get a picture with the Hollywood sign for two reasons: (1) I never have and (2) it's so relevant right now! I would've instagrammed that with the caption "HollyWOOD #stopthememes" but we couldn't see the sign, yet alone the entire city of LA or anything several feet away.

Wow....The LA smog has gotten pretty bad hasn't it?

Just kidding, it's rain. WOW, it rains in LA??

After that major fail, we laughed it off and drove up to Northridge. We didn't look around the CSUN campus since we have both been there before, but since we are both highly considering Northridge, we took a look at some of the apartments around town. We saw a lot of places in the short couple hours we had! We did this just to get an idea of what we can afford compared to Santa Barbara and we also kind of did it for fun! We accidentally walked into what we thought was a leasing office, but was instead an office for purchasing a place. We also didn't realize that these were townhouses because they looked like apartments from the outside. The office lady said that all the ones in the back were open and we could go inside and look at all of them on our own. Without hesitation, Julia and I walked into these $500,000- $700,000 houses and just about had heartattacks around each corner we turned. There were probably cameras and we probably made a fool of ourselves with our giddy reactions. The houses were completely furnished with modern furniture, stainless steel appliances, walk-in closets, and they each even had an elevator! After we had our "dream on" moments, we avoided heading back through the office as we walked back to our car in embarrassment. Next we drove to a 7-Eleven where we had to stop and use the restroom.....boy
that was a wake up call! It's like we entered a whole other world. Oh well....It was fun while it lasted.

Holiday Trip Part 2

Besides the clouds, this picture
looks like I'm on a spaceship
looking down on Earth!

A miracle just happened right before I wrote this....IT STORMED IN SANTA BARBARA! I REPEAT IT ACTUALLY STORMED RIGHT HERE IN CALIFORNIA! (For 10 whole minutes) We don't get rain often and when we do it rarely ever comes along with thunder and lighting. At first I thought 'Someone's being really loud upstairs moving stuff'. Then I realized... 'Wait I live on the top floor' and BAM! To my right a flash of lightning lit up Isla Vista outside my window. If you couldn't tell, I love storms. If you still can't tell....let me tell you I have a battery powered snow globe and it's turned on right next to me.
Anyway! I meant to blog as soon as I got back to California, but exhaustion from traveling and jet lag  took over me.

Example A: I kept falling asleep at 7 PM and waking up at 7 AM. 

Example B: I poured water from my Brita into my cereal instead of milk.

Example C: I tried to dial a phone number in my calculator app. 

Wilmington, NC

Yeah, so, not much fun things to talk about since all I've been doing is trying to catch up on sleep and other things. Instead, here are some pictures from the second part of my trip in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Virginia!

Dec 26: We drove from Fredericksburg, VA to Wilmington, NC. There we coincidently watched our family's neighbor's plane take off from the runway in their backyard as we were getting a tour. We all had dinner together, played a game of Uno, and said our goodbyes in the morning.

How opposite having a regular
puppy vs. a German Shepard puppy is

Dec 27: Next we drove to Beaufort, SC. We were stuck on the highway for quite some time due to an accident. People got out of their cars to stretch and everything. Once we got to our family's house we had a nice dinner and chatted the rest of the night.

Beaufort, SC

Dec 28: We visited downtown Beaufort where we got eaten alive by bugs that left at least 15 bites on me (which I still find myself scratching today....my skin has stayed extra sensitive from the lymphoma). In downtown, we checked out all the little stores, walked along the water, and ate at a restaurant on the patio (of course I ordered my sweet tea).

The Bickmann Girls!   Greenville, SC

Dec 29: Then, we woke up and drove to Greenville, SC to visited my dad's brother and his family. My Aunt Hal cooked a lovely pineapple casserole. It was incredibly delicious! All three of my brothers and I opened presents from our Uncle that each weighed like two bricks. It was 28.8lbs of pennies ($50 worth). YEAH I was like 'Uhhh...thanks but this is going to definitely surpass my suitcase weight limit.' Hahahaha. He chuckled and threw us $50 of cash instead......in 1's. After gifts, we played pool for two hours. My cousin Blair and I stayed up late until around 3 AM talking since we already had to leave the next day.

Dec 30: We drove back up to Virginia. At this point I was one cranky traveler. After all the driving and flying, this is when I began to feel homesick from California. We got back to Fredericksburg around 9:30 PM.

Giving Guinni kisses

After taking care of my
brother after he kneed
himself in the eye on
the trampoline, as
his sister, I made sure
his eyes matched. 

Dec 31: I woke up unbearably early after so much traveling just to check up on one of my teeth that was feeling sensitive after the fillings I had. They dentist adjusted it and gave me a paste to use after I brush my teeth to rebuild my enamel that deteriorated from the chemo. It was expensive, but when I found out that it wouldn't only protect my teeth's health, but improve it, I knew it would be a good investment. An hour or so later my brothers and I were picked up to go to our house in Ashburn. For dinner we went out to one of those Japanese grills where they cook in front of you. Afterwards, my friend Bethany and I went to her friend's house to celebrate New Years.

Jan 1: I spent the rest of the day with my family. My dad drove up to say goodbye since his house is farther from the airport. The rest of the night I spent packing.

Jan 2: Even though I knew I was finally going home, it was still incredibly difficult to get out of bed I was so tired. I got dropped off at the Dulles Airport, flew to LAX, the Flyaway bus picked me up from LAX and took me to the Van Nuys station where my car was parked, and then I drove all the way up to Isla Vista. Glad none of ya'll had to see me that day. It was a long one. Oh, I just said ya'll.... Haha, that tends to happen after I visit the Carolina's!

"Future me" Favorite snap filter
(besides the pug obviously)

Keep on enjoying your break everyone! Spring semester is approaching and it will be here before you know it!

Happy New Year! It's never too late to start fresh again. If the new year didn't work out for ya, try the beginning of spring semester! The only reason I love having my birthday in January is so that if I mess up on my New Years resolution, I can make it my birthday/new age resolution! Besides, every day is a new day.