Healing Process

Obviously healing is looked at as a positive thing, yet it can be a tough process to go through. I noticed I've been starting to gain weight and feel more down because my leg is keeping me from doing a lot. The whole "deciding to" blog I did at the beginning of the semester is still a true feeling I wish I could go by right now. However, I can't just decide to go on a run for obvious reasons. I'm in this place right now where I feel kind of stuck. There's so many things I want and need to do, but I can't. I can't wait to be completely healed again, but then I realize I'm about to get all my wisdom teeth out pretty soon too. It's just another thing that has to be done. Today I stopped wearing the tape I've been putting around my leg for a few days. My bruise looks a lot worse, but it feels better. I can actually walk on it now so that's good! I was looking ahead of me today at the reflection in the door at school and noticed a guy looking at my bruise like it was so gnarly. That's when you know you hurt yourself good.

My dance team has started again. I went on Tuesday and did what I could, which wasn't much. I can't wait to get back into the swing of things again, I can tell you that much. My tonsillitis  and ear infection are almost gone at this point. I've been eating fine (a lot actually) and my ears have been popping. I look a little strange every time my ears pop in public because I get this surprised look on my face.

Here's a sunset picture I took yesterday because you can never get enough of them living here. I stuffed my face with some Freebirds afterwards. I haven't it since I did a college visit to this place in the summer of 2013. It's good but....it can't beat my Chipotle addiction.

Don't Ask

Probably the biggest "boo boo" I've ever had

Can you believe it? CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! I know, I almost can't believe it myself. Yet the pain seems to remind me quite well. I think you guys are starting to see the trend of my life. Not only am I not recovered from my Urgent Care visit on Friday, I had to go yesterday too! If you like to ask what happened, you may. However I'm honestly tired of talking about this kind of stuff. I just want to feel better and I keep getting worse! Basically I fell and wooden furniture collapsed on me. This happened on Saturday. I tried sleeping it off, but woke up Sunday morning in so much pain. I can barely walk on it yet the doctor is telling me that's what I need to do. I spent another four hours at Urgent Care, this time with a friend. It made the time go by faster. However, I waited four hours just to get told a pain prescription wouldn't do anything. The doctor outlined this bruise which runs down my entire calf to the bottom of my leg. She kept pressing it telling me she isn't trying to torture me. Then she starts squeezing it as I'm laying on my stomach and I grab the chair I was on in so much pain. Apparently she had to check if my Achilles tendon was till in place. It is. IT'S ALL GOOD!!! Kind of....

Sick of being Sick

I'm so sorry to keep blogging about being sick, but it will just not go away!!! Trust me, I'm sick of it too! I would love to blog about doing fun things, but I can't go out and do them like this. It's been about two weeks so I decided to go to Urgent Care.  Good news, I found out what is wrong. Bad news, I have another surgery that needs to be done as soon as I have time. (My other surgery that needs to be done sooner is removing my wisdom teeth if you didn't know.) Yesterday I went to the doctor with a good spare in time so that I could make it to my class afterwards...NOPE. I had to wait an hour and a half just to get checked in. Then I had to do my favorite task of filling out paperwork including my wonderful medical history.

A nurse finally calls me back and only checks my vitals. She then proceeds to tell me that a doctor won't be able to see me for another two hours. I was so confused and stressed. She hands me this pager like they give you at restaurants to tell you your table is ready. The nurse says, "You can go within a ten mile radius and when the buzzer goes off you have 10 minutes to get back here. If you're not here within that time, you will be placed back at the end of the line." I had no idea where I was. I was somewhere between Isla Vista and SBCC. I didn't know how far I could go so I sat in my car till I was done stressing out. I looked at my maps app on my phone and saw Tropicana was only 8.5 miles away. It was around lunch time so I headed back just to get lunch and drove straight back to Urgent Care.

I arrive to be told that I still need to wait. Granted my pager didn't go off, but I was scared it wouldn't work because I never used one that had a radius that far. The lady at the desk told me that there were only two people ahead of me. At this point it had been three and a half hours. I accepted that fact and sat in a chair like everyone else was and waited. As soon as I sat down I felt like I was going to get sick and I rushed to the restroom. Nothing. I went back to the waiting room and sat down for a split second. It had been four hours at this point. Multiple (more than two) people were going ahead of me and some of them had pagers going off. Others who were behind me in line who I saw come in after me that morning were called up too. Annoyed, I go back in line to talk to the front desk. As soon as it's my turn to talk to the lady, I hear my name back in the area where all the employees were. So I sat back down and waited a few. I was called up and given a room. I was told to change into a gown so the doctor could check my lungs. The doctor comes in and told me I was good in that sense. She checks my right ear...then my left and opens here eyes all wide and surprised. She says, "You definitely have an ear infection! It's all red and bulging out in there." All this time I thought it was because my ears wouldn't pop. She said usually kids get them, but that I was the third adult who came in today with it. Next she looks at the back of my throat and says, "Wow, your tonsils are huge! You have tonsillitis. You'll have to make an appointment to get surgery to get them out". GREAT. I've been told I had tonsillitis before. I proceeded to tell her that I also had to get my wisdom teeth and wished I could get it all done at the same time. She laughed and handed me my prescription and I was on my way to my usual procedure. Get sick. Go to doctor. Get prescription. Get better.

Island Escape

This past weekend I visited Washington. I never understand why people get confused and ask "The state or the city?". Washington is it's own state and DC is completely different. My aunt lives on an island off of it. It was in the 40-50's most of the time so I lucked out. I was told I brought the California weather with me.

The flight there was beautiful. I left at sunset from the small airport right off Hollister here in Isla Vista. It was very convenient. When you take off and just get in the air from this airport, you can see the ocean. It was beautiful!

It was a different feeling arriving in a state I haven't been to and that my mother once lived in. Washington was filled with evergreen trees wherever you looked. I can imagine it's very beautiful during Christmas. To get to my aunt's house, I had to take a ferry. We waited and drove onto the ferry and it was less than three miles across to get to the island.

I was welcomed by her five dogs. One is as old as my dog Guinness and the rest of them were Scottish Terriors. The weekend consisted of relaxing, good food, and looking through memories of our family. I got to see my mom on video for the first time. She had passed away with my brother over 18 years ago and this was the first time I heard her voice. It gave me a feeling that I never had before, to be honest I broke down. As soon as I did though, she made a silly face on camera and I giggled right away.

I had a 12 hour travel day Monday as I flew back. I was EXHAUSTED. Man, flying all the time like this sure makes me feel independent. Of course I was sick again and my ears would just NOT POP for a whole day both ways! It was worth it though. My family is spread all over the United States so it's always that good out of the ordinary feeling to see them again.

Oh here's the surprise from our RA I found when we came back! I think we got roses too.

Click here to watch the video I put together of my airplane taking off and pictures from my trip. I'm finally starting to figure out how to work my new video-editing system. Go ahead and subscribe to my channel if you eventually want to see regular postings!

Introducing the Roomies

Let me say that I've been pretty lucky with my roommates this semester. I came home from a long day of school on Monday. Before I even enter the door my RA was like "Oh you made it just in time".  I was like "What? Okay!". I had no idea what was going on, but I didn't question it. It felt nice to be wanted. Apparently we all needed to be together to take this picture because Jordan (our RA) is giving us a surprise for Valentine's Day. I won't be here as I will be out of town to visit family for the long weekend, but I can't wait to see it when I get home! I bet it's something to do with this picture. I just want to thank them all for being so welcoming. As soon as I moved in I was hit with overwhelming events in my life and their goofiness and giggles never stop. It's great to be surrounded by. Except the sickness we all shared this past week... but that's how it is!

If you didn't know, California is going through a heat wave right now in the dead of winter. Santa Barbara has it good in the mid 70's. Trees are blooming with flowers like it's spring, and people are tanning outside. I'm flying up north to Washington tomorrow and coming back Monday night. I would tan this weekend if I was here, but I want to take advantage of this long weekend and see family I wouldn't be able to see otherwise! Enjoy you're four day weekend SBCC students! And remember, if you're single this Valentine's Day remind yourself it's just another day. Don't let the pressure of it get to you and treat yourself! Chances are you deserve it. I treated myself to some Chipotle yesterday. Usually every day I deserve it anyway but I'd be broke if did that. I gotta pick and choose! I met with my dance team yesterday, looks like we are starting up again "on a Tuesday" (next Tuesday).

Transitioning Troubles

This Friday I drove a couple of my roommates and I to State Street to get some things we need. Apparently they needed 50 ramen noodle packs, but hey I don't blame them. We're all starting to realize how bad Tropicana's food really is and it's the same stuff every week. I definitely will not live there next year because there are cheaper options everywhere and I can buy my own food that I want. Also I've been seeing a ton of students with dogs! It's not a for sure thing, but I'm thinking about getting a dog (a pug) within the next year. I think it would help a lot with my separation anxiety coming home to that and having something to take care of and be happy to see me. Of course I have to take care of myself still but it gets pretty lonely.

I went out Friday night with my roommate after some of us came back from State Street.  I realize when I'm out and starting to have fun, sometimes I start to get in my head and think about things that a lot of college students probably don't think about. Saturday my sickness got worse and I went to my family's house and talked to them. They think the dog idea might help me a lot. When I talked to them I realized how much I still need to do to be out here. It's not easy with my past health condition making this all happen on my own. Sunday I went and visited my mom and brother. I asked them to help guide me through everything. It's really difficult with the past I have to act like a care-free college kid. I also don't necessarily want to be that, but I do need to have the fun that I've missed out on most of my life. I'm the kind of person who likes a few close friends. I realize that's not going to happen right away here, but it just makes things harder. I'm deciding to do all this positive stuff for myself, but it's almost impossible doing that when I'm not feeling well. I've had this problem my whole life where I've matured a lot faster than everyone else because of what I've been through, so I feel a little out of place sometimes. I think a lot of these feelings are also coming from writing my book and being at this college at the same time. I'm writing about all this depressing stuff all while trying to be happy at the same time. Ahh!! I keep trying to tell myself all this will be worth it someday, but that's what I've been doing my whole life. That's why I am writing my book now because I'm trying to make my dream happen sooner. Life is too short!

Girls, click here for some good college advice!

Sickness is in the Air

Lately I've been scrolling through Yik Yak and have noticed everyone talking about love as Valentine's Day gets closer. Someone replied to a Yik Yak of mine today saying how "Love must be in the air" because I witnessed butterflies loving each other very much on campus today. That that must be a sign. I told them that the only thing that must be in the air is the cold, because I have caught it. Yep, I'm sick once again.

Not only my roommates, but a bunch of people at Trop and at school are sick. When you live around students with a weak immune system, it's no bueno. For the past year my body likes to give me a painful warning sign that I'm about to get sick. I don't enjoy this warning sign, because my tonsils swelling up makes any sickness that much worse. If my airway in my throat is closing up and then next my nose from stuffiness, how am I supposed to breathe?! That is the whole reason why I went to the hospital last semester because I was freaking out about that. Granted I was more sick with the flu, rather than this current cold. For now I'm dealing with it, and making it to all of my classes. As you know lately I've been going through a lot and being sick is the last thing I need to drag my motivation right now. 

However, I continue to do what I need to do. Today I finished up chapter four in my autobiography and I'm on to chapter five. It helped writing today, realizing all I've endured. I forgot to mention yesterday was World Cancer Day! I celebrated it sick. Yaaaayyyy *sniffles* I got a cancer check up when I was in the east coast this winter, I never did hear back from the chest X-ray people! Just another thing I need to figure out.

The Bridge

The bridge here at SBCC is what connects our campus together. We have a West and East campus and this bridge really shows the growth of our school. All along the bridge there are signs that say were are the number one community college in the nation. It can sound cheesy, but I honestly believe it. Not just for our beautiful scenery, but for the way our school grows and treats us like students who have more than just a general education in mind. We have dreams SBCC. If it wasn't for this bridge, our campus would either be a lot smaller or separated. Whether you're walking to West Campus and look to the left, or walking towards East campus and look to the right you see the beautiful ocean or the crazy madness of people trying to find parking. Either way, it's a very thankful thing when you walk across this bridge that you're either that close to the ocean or not in the parking lot. Last semester I had no classes on West campus. This semester I have most of my classes on the West side and one on East. Without this bridge you'd probably have to walk up and down those hills we have more often. This bridge is a very useful touch to our school.

Also, on each side of the campus as you walk off the bridge you notice this. It where people post events such as clubs, concerts, classes, or jobs you might be interested in. I myself take a look at this every week or so to checkout if there is anything cool. Might I mention that club day is also tomorrow if any of you are interested in joining something. I know I might be. It's always nice to make friends who have the same interests as you. Last semester I joined the dance club, which then I ended up joining the dance team. You never know what opportunities you might have!

Monday Madness

Holy Homework

What does this look like? You might say it looks like about a week's worth of homework. Yes and no. I did this all last night. My math teacher assigns us homework and worksheets each day of class. However, she doesn't make it due till all on one day, which is the day of the quiz. I believe she is trying to teach us the art of avoiding procrastination. I obviously have not mastered that art yet. The fact is, as a freshmen I have to take a few courses that aren't transferable. Since I've found out which ones aren't transferable, I've had less motivation in those classes. That still doesn't exclude the fact that I have to get it done though. It being due Tuesday, I did it all last night because today is my full day at school. Personally, I'm still adjusting to my new schedule! This was all done with a dose of melatonin about halfway through last night. With all the stress I've been having lately, I've had a hard time falling asleep. Melatonin is the most natural choice I can rely on. 

Last night's sunset

Even though I had all that homework to do last night, it wasn't nearly as stressful as today was. Whenever I drive to school, I make sure to leave so I AT LEAST have half an hour to find parking. It's crazy, but believe it or not sometimes that isn't enough. The annoyance can be very real because most of us students pay for parking, yet we can't even find a spot! This morning I had to park closer to State Street and pay for parking. I was so far from my class, but this teacher puts you on the spot if you're late. I was late last time because my bus never showed up. It's a stressful thing when both traveling resources can't be reliable. All I knew to do was park there and pick up the pace. I came into class with my heart beating out my chest and I was all overheated from walking up the huge hill to West Campus. I told the teacher what I had to do to make it to class in time. Nervously, I asked her if it was okay if I left ten minutes early to move my car closer to a student parking spot actually at the school. I also didn't have enough time between her class and my next to walk that far, move my car, and find a spot again. She let me this time, but I really need to find ways around this parking problem. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of spots here! There's just a sufficient amount of students who go here. Hey, I can't blame them.

On top of all this, this is my crazy Monday where I'm at school literally all day. The end of the day is getting better as I write. I found out my new camera came in the mail, which I will get when I finally get home. Also my handy-dandy parking pass should be there as well. However, I wouldn't exactly call it a life saver.